Where can I buy a pair of Mother Theresa shinpads?

Sunday, June 20
Simon's Town

There's a one-page spread featuring a photo of Bjorn and the shirt in Die Burger newspaper.

Checked out of the Inn on the Square we catch the Cape Town metro 23 stops to Simon's Town, where a colony of 3000 African penguins can be found hanging out, a couple of kilometres down the road, at Boulders Beach. With all the negative press you read about South Africa most people would assume that instant death awaits anybody foolish enough to board a city train in this country. The journey down the Cape feels safer than the Leeds-Manchester line to me. Mind you, Cape Town also feels safer than every major British city I have been to in recent years. I think there's more chance of being randomly attacked and beaten up in Nottigham or Liverpool of a Saturday night than in Cape Town, from the evidence I have so far seen.

The scenery on the train journey to Simon's Town is top draw: near vertical cliffs dropping into the glorious sea below; white sand beaches forever drenched by huge waves.
Hundreds of penguins waddle backwards and forwards on Boulders Beach, while thousands of sea birds swoop and dive along the shore. It's a dramatic and heart warming scene only made slightly silly by the donkeyesque chatting noises of the penguins and a sudden personal desire to find a Jabulana ball and enjoy a kick about with the flightless birds.

The 2'and 6 pub is the perfect place to watch the 'Eye-ties' (as Paul Ince refers to them live on SABC TV) struggle to a 1-1 draw with New Zealand. They, along with the French, actually look worse than England.

Why are Brasil most football fans' second team? Personally, they annoy the hell out of me. They cheat and spoil matches as shamelessly as any other South American or Italian team does and, worst of all, the players seem to believe that Jesus is their twelfth man. Why do they think God supports Brasil? Why has Elano got Mother Theresa shinpads?
Reading this you won't be surprised to hear I'm disappointed that the Ivory Coast fail to beat Brasil, and that I chuckle to myself in the 2' and 6 when Kaka gets sent off. Am I just bitter and twisted because England are so crap?